by Alan David Perkins
Copyright © 1992
Full-length comedy in one continuous Act.
Billed as a "desperate" comedy about Love, Relationships, Marriage and
Explosives, this play illustrates turbulent relationships in New York, the
eternal conflict of style over substance and compromises of values that
follow set against the tense backdrop of a hostage situation. Mike Pitts and
Julia Martin are complete opposites -- Mike is emotional and passionate
while Julia is practical and materialistic. The two were once a hot item but
compromised that it would be best if they were apart. When Mike finds out
that Julia had "sold out" and is marrying a man of little substance for the
financial security, he constructs a vest of explosives and holds her hostage
in order to change her mind. Added to the mix is Marvin Abernathy, New
York's worst detective, and Roxanne "Rocky" McCovey, an un-ladylike hostage
negotiator. Together they examine the true nature of their relationships and
how many compromise style over substance.
JULIA MARTIN - Female, late 30's to early 40's. Attractive, dynamic,
caring, analytical and a little pompous.
MIKE PITTS - Male, late 20's to mid 30's. Rugged, unstable, charismatic,
passionate, borderline psychotic.
DETECTIVE MARVIN "NASTY" ABERNATHY - Male, mid to late 40's. Insecure,
ROCKY McCOVEY - Female, mid to late 40's. Harsh, brash, loud, obnoxious,
IRVING BLITSTEIN - Male, mid to late 60's.
JEAN BLITSTEIN - Female, mid to late 60's.
90 - 100 minutes.
Upper-East Side New York apartment. Center stage is a sofa, coffee table,
chair, upright piano and other living room-type furniture. The stage should
have an entrance to a kitchen. There should be a large window visible. The
apartment is in immaculate shape, almost to the point of being desolate. All
colors are Earth tones. Any form of decoration are pictures of landscapes,
seashore, forest, mountains, etc. Many book shelves are filled with
The play is in one continuous Act with no scene break. A couple of
special effects are necessary -- bits of a window frame have to be "shot"
out and there should be one sound effect of an explosion.
The original title of this play was "Marry Me or DIE!" A co-worker of
mine, Debbie Krack, came up with the new title. Yes, this play is purging a
bad relationship I once had. But seriously, when I wrote it I was sharing an
apartment with the most wonderful woman -- an artist who was about thirty
years my senior. We would have the most intense discussions on relationships
and what really matters in them. I used these discussions as the basis of
Another driving factor in this play was due to my dealings with a
strategically unnamed theater group I once belonged to. The other writers in
the group would write the most BORING things, and then have the nerve to
lecture to me about dramatic structure. In rebellion, I planned to write a
play that had an exaggerated structure -- life and death action, stakes
miles high, etc. As a result, I had packed it so tightly that I couldn't
even have a break in the scene.
CONTACTING THE PLAYWRIGHT:
The entire script of
Wedded Blitz is available upon request from
the playwright. No production
of this play can take place without permission from the playwright.